Out of the PA system came a rancid noise. It was I Saw Him Standing There, rendered horrible by teen super-sensation Tiffany! Several things started to happen at once. The penguins spilled their Matilda Bay wine coolers and I grabbed my head to stop it from exploding. Screaming, ‘IN OMNEM TERRAM EXIVIT SONUS EORUM, ET IN FINES ORBIS TERRAE VERBA EORUM, HODIE ADVEHO TUBRI COITUS!’ (Which translates roughly as ‘THE CORDS OF THE GRAVE COILED AROUND ME, THE SNARES OF DEATH CONFRONTED ME, NOW PASS THE FUCKING YAMS!’ Don’t ask me where I learned that bit of Latin) I jumped onto the stage and started shuffling around on my buttocks as every coffee nip in my pockets caught fire. Squasha swooned and fainted, disappearing in a puff of lavender smoke (with a little orange mixed in) before she hit the floor. Sabrina, the club’s sexy new entertainment coordinator, cut the tape out and offered a sincere apology, but the damage had already been done and everyone (yet again) was too ill to stick. Next day maine usko ph kia aur kaha ki kal aapse no liya tha na sorry maine to aapka naam hi nhi pucha, aapka naam kya hai to usne apna naam sunita bataya fir usne mera v naam pucha, to maine usse kaha ki aaj mil sakti ho, usne kaha thik hai aa jaiye fir maine usse address lia aur uske ghar chala gaya, uska ghar ek building k 2nd floore me tha maine call bell bajayi to usne darwaja open kia, wow wo kya lag rahi thi usne tshirt aur capri pehna hua tha, fir usne mijhe under bithaya aur mere liye paani laayi aur jaise hi usne jhuk k mujhe paani diya uske loose tshirt me se uske boobs saaf dikhne laga usne under pink bra pehna hua tha, usne v ye notice kia ki main uske boobs dekh raha hu but usne kuch v nhi kaha aur under se usne ek album leke aayi aur mujhe design dikhane lagi but mera to bura haal tha lund ekdum pant faad raha tha, wo bilkul mere baju me baith gayi uski jaangh aur meri ekdum sata hua tha jab wo photo dikha rahi thi ti side se uske boobs touch ho raha tha, main to pagal.
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